Making Over – New Hair

 

Another step in the makeover process.

Before

After

12WBT, Update

Well, I’ve been fairly slack on the posting front but things are going well on the 12WBT front, a loss of 4.5kg so far, halfway to my goal weight for this program. I feel great, a little tired but that’s not related to the 12WBT, just a few late nights backed up with early mornings, and small children who think that sleep is a four letter word.

On the food front, I’ve veered away from the program a bit in the last week or so, but what’s really great is that I’ve begun to identify where I was going wrong with my eating before hand. I eat a relatively healthy diet (although never enough veggies) and I eat sensible meal portions, but I am caught out every time by chocolate and lollies/sweets. It’s not an emotional eating thing, more a boredom thing. When I am bored the first thing I do is head to the fridge and check if there’s anything good to eat.

So the solution is easy, no chocolate, lollies, biscuits or cakes in the house. I will still snack on cheese and crackers but at least I am getting protein and calcium there, or grapes/fruit, but at least I am getting some fibre and vitamins.

Here’s a picture of my favourite lunch so far, I think I’m going to have it again today :).

Lentil and Beetroot salad with Feta Cheese, snowpea sprouts and spinach.

12WBT, Week 1 Day 3

Technorati Tags: 12WBT,Food,Diet,Makeover

Today’s lunch, delicious again, although I missed the carbs a little this time. All going well so far. The first weigh in was this morning and I’m 0.6kg down, since Sunday, so a great start, some people are posting big losses already but I’m happy with my little loss, just hoping to keep going at a similar rate for the next 11 weigh ins.

I have been feeling hungry, but I think it’s mostly in my head because I feel hungry straight after eating a huge plateful of food which can’t be right. Apparently the hungry feelings pass after a week or so, here’s hoping that’s true! The food has been fantastic so far, so tasty and obviously healthy. Chicken and a million veggies for tea tonight with a mustard sauce, trialled it last week so I know it’s a good one.

The exercise is going well, over 2000 calories burnt for the week already. Running, Strength training, core work, tick tick tick.

12WBT, Week 1 Day 1

So here it goes, week 1 day one, I’m hungry, only in my head though, breakfast was good (muesli with milk and a banana) and lunch was delicious.

Carrot tabouleh and hummous wraps. A great start to week one, and I know dinner will be good (Chicken with veggies and a mustard sauce) because I make it as a practice meal a couple of days ago.

Today will be a core and stretch day for me, I’ve jiggled my program around to fit half marathon training in as well as keeping the core and strength sessions and some circuit training as well.

I’m feeling good about it so far, the pre-season has been valuable but I think makes the first day feel a little less exciting, even though I’ve not been good with my food for the last couple of weeks, just been exercising more. I’m mainly looking forward to having an excuse to prepare food that the family wouldn’t normally eat (but that I love) as I’ve spent the last few years eating chicken and pasta.

So here it goes.

My Commitment

12 Week Body Transformation Pre-Season Task 5

Task 5 was a tough one for me, to make a commitment to myself, to Michelle and to others in my life who should support me during the 12WBT. I don't feel quite ready to commit yet, but my commitment is as follows:

I am committed to putting my all into my workouts and not slacking off with excuses as I always have in the past. I am committed to not settling for an OK time when I could have a great time if I put the effort in. I am committed to not stopping at 12 reps if I can do 16, to continually raising the bar in order to progress not stagnate. I am committed to burning calories and burning muscles. I am committed to fueling my body for health and exercise and I am committed to cutting out the crap.

This is my committment to you and to myself.

So that's it, I have to do it now. No backing down. I AM COMMITTED.

But am I? I still have a lot of self-doubt, I'm not good at dieting, I don't really believe in diets, and I know, it's a lifestyle not a diet, I know the theory, but in reality it involves restricting some of my regular (not healthy) foods and eating more of the good stuff, so it is a change in diet. I need to get my head around the change to make it work, I'm going to go back to excuses again (and I suspect again) until I make it right. I want this to be a success.

Gearing Up

Gearing Up!

12 Week Body Transformation Pre-Season Task 4

Task four of the 12WBT is 'Gearing Up'. This task was a much easier one, well, apart from the fact that it seems to have inspired an intense desire to go out and spend spend spend, which I am NOT allowed to do (I'm saving up for end of round treats, not allowed food treats and the alternatives are much more expensive ;)). It's all about planning to succeed. Making sure you have the right tools to make the job as easy as possible and to eliminate as many excuses as possible. In reality the number of things you actually need to get fit is pretty small, but there are a heck of a lot of wants in there too.


It was all about planning where you are going to train:

Home
Outside
Gym


and then making sure that all the equipment needed is on hand.


Well, for me, I prefer to train outside as much as possible and as my main fitness goal is a half marathon then a lot of my sessions are going to involve pounding the pavements and I'm pretty well set up for that. New running shoes, tick, Heart Rate Monitor/GPS, tick, water bottle, tick, running clothes, tick (a whole cupboard full much of which hasn't seen the outdoors for a long time, it's almost (almost I said) as good as having new kit).


There may be times in the next 12 weeks that I need to revert to training indoors, if my husband is away for example, so if and when that occurs I'll be heading off to the shops to get some workout DVD's. One DVD I want to get anyway is some kind of Pilates program so I'll be looking around for a good one as a treat for hitting my 1 month goals (which I am going to do!).

lthough I don't have a problem with the gym, and I live in an apartment building with a gym, I much prefer to be outdoors, however the gym will come in handy for targetted strength work especially in the evenings if it is dark/cold/wet etc. so I will aim to get in there at least once a week, but if I can't get there I have a fit ball and some weights at home and even though we live in an apartment we still have stairs!!! so if all else fails I'll just have to run up and down them a few times after the children have gone to bed.

For me I think the key to keeping motivated with my exercise will be variety.

The other kind of gear is food/weightloss related, I have enough to make do in the kitchen, but I think I might have to invest in a good set of body composition scales. I also need to choose/set up a journal to record food intake, exercise and everything else related to the challenge.

GOAL! Setting my goals for the next year.

12 Week Body Transformation, Pre-season task 3



Goals for 2011

The third 12 Week Body Transformation Pre-Season Task is GOAL SETTING, now I love the theory of goal setting and I have trained people in goal setting in the past, I definitely encourage it, but you know, there's those excuses again, no time to set goals? Not worth it if I don't think I can achieve them? oh and so many more. So i sat down and did it, and added my comments on what I need to do to make those goals a reality.I've started but I'm finding it difficult to see beyond the 12 week program. I'll be back to revise these as I go along.


1 month goals (by 21st March 2011) and how I will achieve them


Run/walk 10km in 1hr 20 minutes Keep running 3 x per week, build up to 5km run by end of pre-season (21/02/11). Introduce ‘long run’ tomorrow (30/01/11) starting at 40 mins run 8 walk 2 (DONE). At current pace 10km should take around 1hr 20 so adding 10 mins per week (at 8+2) should get there comfortably without injury. Want to be able to run 5K easily by the 29th of Feb to start ½ marathon plan.
Get into a stretching habit after training Stretch every time until it becomes automatic Learn new stretches, maybe find a stretching DVD? Develop a regular stretch routine for upper/lower body, post run and post gym. Stick a big STRETCH sign on the fridge and the bathroom mirror.
Try a new sport or class Going to book a badminton court and play with Sam one day when the girls are in daycare. Can book 4x1hr for $50 on special during February.
Lose 4kg – taking me to 68kg Follow 12WBT eating and training plans, ignore negative self talk, fight off excuses. Find training buddies virtual and in real life.
Introduce 8 new dishes to our family mealtimes This should be easy following the meal plans , need to adapt them a little for the children and resist eating the difference. I want to introduce more veggies, more pulses, more fish in particular. Make time to shop at the market – maybe a regular time with a friend?
Eat 3 serves of veggies EVERY DAY Buy a wider variety of veggies, eat some vegetarian meals, allocate more time for cooking, do some cooking in advance to have veggie dishes in the freezer. Frozen veg are ok some days but should mix up with other veg too.


3 month goals (by 21st May 2011) and how I will get there


Half marathon (29/05/11) sub 2:12 for a pb Make time for long runs, increase to 4 runs per week, follow Hal Higdon running plan and 12WBT for strength. Get up early and run before it gets hot in Mar. 12 week training programme to start on 28th of February!!! Run with Sam when possible for tempo runs and with the pram if necessary. Get over fear of running with the pram, it's not too much hassle and we can end up at the park.
Run 10k in 60 minutes Consistent training, running hard not just cruising along, start tempo and interval training as soon as I can run 30 mins without stopping. I need to be able to do this to get a half marathon pb!
Swim 1500m in 30 minutes General fitness, swim at least once a week. Losing weight should help with this as should upper body strength work. Renew swim pass.Try a new or different sport/class each month Squash, tennis, trampolining, dance class, maybe do a week’s trial at a gym to try out some classes one week. Try a Zumba class and a Bodypump class.
Lose another 5kg taking me to 63kg Follow 12WBT eating and training plans, ignore negative self talk.
Look good in a size 10/12 Eat well and tone up, especially arms, shoulders etc.
Introduce 8 more new dishes to family mealtimes Should be easy with meal plans, but determined to increase the variety of what we eat, particularly eating more veggies etc.
Eat 5 serves of veggies per day at least 5 times per week Just do it.


6 month goals (by 21st November 2011) and how I will get there


Maintain weight Give up chocolate and sweets, keep on healthy eating plan
Maintain fitness Join the gym for variety if budget allows
Melbourne Marathon 2012 (09/10/11) – Marathon sub 5 hours Keep running consistently after ½ marathon, 20 Week marathon training plan to start immediately after half marathon (should be 22/05/11). Plan babysitter in advance so that we can both run.


12 month goals (by 21st February 2012) and how I will get there


Maintain weight Keep up healthy eat plan, Give up chocolate and sweets
Maintain fitness Just keep training. Set new goals for motivation, try new sports and classes.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

12 Week Body Transformation, Pre-Season Task 2

The second task in the preseason of the 12 Week Body Transformation was pretty confronting, we were asked to list out all of the excuses we use not to exercise or to eat well, and then look at possible solutions to those excuses. Looking around the forums it was obvious that I wasn't the only one who found this to be a bit of an eye opener, so many silly excuses, so much time wasted, so many opportunities missed. So here are mine, there's a lot of them and I'm sure that there are more that I haven't thought of. It's frightening when you think back on how you have been sabotaging yourself for so long.

Internal Excuses and Solutions - these are the excuses that we make up to get ourselves out of doing what we should be doing.


Exercise


I can start next week Start RIGHT NOW, pick a very specific time to start


Too tired Will be less tired if I exercise, and anyway not going to go to sleep, will sleep better after a run. Just a short run is better than nothing so go and do it.


It’s late/dark Go to the gym, only has to be for 20 minutes, get out for a walk before dinner with the children.


Uni work Be more organised, spend less time on the computer in the evenings.


Too busy Haha, not really, only busy not doing the things that I should be doing.


More like too lazy What a silly excuse, I’ve done it before so know that I can do it and enjoy it. I know that every time you do it you feel more motivated.


I feel guilty going out and leaving Sam/the children They’ll be fine together, they’ll be better off with a healthier wife/mum, maybe we should all get out together.


I don’t want to get injured (so I’ll take it easy). Build up sensibly but still need to push it more than I usually do. If necessary get physio/massage before any injuries become an issue, lots of stretching and core strength work will help as will a varied program and good technique will be important too, I’ll be less likely to get injured when I am lighter and fitter.


I’ll do it later Do I really have time later? How likely am I to do it later? Wouldn’t I prefer to do something else later, or have an early night instead.


I’m too slow/not going to beat my pb 1) Does it matter 2) I might if I try hard enough


I’m not getting any faster/seeing results Maybe need to change things around, try a different program, or get a reality check from someone else – difficult to see it myself.


Want to sit on the sofa It’s not even that comfy, can sit there all night AFTER the exercise has been done.


Need to use the computer Need to limit computer time, don’t really need to use it as much as I do, spend too much time doing nothing important.


I’m not motivated/don’t feel like it Need to just start with 10 minutes, even a walk is better than nothing.


I have no goal to aim for Find some goals – Half Marathon pb this year.


Inlaws reaction Won’t be as bad as I anticipate and I shouldn’t let it stop me. They’ll get over it pretty quickly.


Don’t want to overdo it Listen to my body, just get on with it, don’t stop unless it hurts.


Nutrition


Last chance to eat something before starting ‘diet’ Nope, not allowed, have something good, first chance to eat something good on the new program.


Going to start next week Nope, going to start RIGHT NOW


I’m hungry Am I really hungry? Have a drink of water, have I eaten enough throughout the day? How much exercise have I done, analyse and make a conscious decision as to whether more food is really needed or not.


I deserve it because I have done some exercise Have something healthy first, I deserve to treat my body well.


I’m breastfeeding Which means I can eat more healthy food, but not crap.


I don’t do diets/don’t like diets But I keep gaining weight, so I need to make this a permanent change, not a diet, a new lifestyle.


Dieting is bad for you But eating healthily isn’t


Too busy Prepare some healthy snacks/freezer meals in advance. Have lots of fruit/veg in the fridge.


Too tired Too tired to eat? As above.


Eating to treat myself Treat my body well, reward with something healthy, or none food related. (Computer time maybe?)


Eating to cheer myself up Better to cheer myself up by going for a run, or having a long hot shower, then eating something healthy. Find non-food alternative treats/mood boosters.


Family/Inlaws reaction Won’t be as bad as I anticipate and I shouldn’t let it stop me. They’ll get over it pretty quickly.


Cooking for fussy eaters Will have to compromise, some nights they will have to eat it, others I’ll have to create an alternative/add extra pasta etc.


I’m addicted to sugar Have to get over this addiction, it’s bad for me, it’s a bad example to set for my children, don’t need it. I can’t just eat a little so best not to have chocolate/sweets/biscuits in the house at all. Stock up on healthy snacks and treats instead.


I have trouble keeping focused Make dates for regular workouts with others, pick challenging but realistic events/goals to work towards. Keep changing things up to make it more interesting.


External Excuses Within My Control and Some Solutions - these are things that I can't change, but I can change my attitude to them and stop them from preventing me from getting to my goal.


Exercise


It’s too hot (coming from a colder climate this is a real big one for me) Head out early, don’t be such a wuss about it, don’t wear too much, take lots of water, have a cold shower afterwards or end up at the pool/cool down in the sea. Go slower shorter if it’s really bad, but at least get out there and try, it might not be as bad as I think it is going to be. If it’s hot on race day I’ll still have to race so better to be used to it. If it’s over 30 degrees then what about a swim instead.


Too hard to exercise with the children Run with the pram, check out the crèche at MSAC again, do an indoors exercise session while they sleep. Do something together, even if it is a slow walk it is better than nothing and is good role modelling to them.


Getting pregnant, I’ll lose all the good work I’ve done so why bother Can still exercise, not a reason to put it off, should make things easier during pregnancy if it happens. Can maintain weight during pregnancy. Might even help to conceive. Will make recovery and getting back to a good place easier afterwards and if not then at least I’ll be fit (any have run a marathon).


Sam being away Will have to exercise on uni days, maybe someone can watch the girls for an hour one day. Run with the girls in the mornings? Crèche? Find someone to workout with, or somewhere the kids can play at the same time. DVD’s in the evenings after bedtime.


Deadlines Need to plan well, get some work done in the evenings (when not exercising), I don’t really have that many deadlines so should be easy to do.


Meetings Should be able to plan around them, they’re pretty infrequent.


Travel Hotel gym, run to explore new places, take it in turns with the kids.


Equipment Already have gym ball and weights, need to get them out again. Can use the gym. Have HRM and SDM. Can use the bottom step of the stairs.


Don’t have gym membership so can’t do classes/Can’t afford it Don’t need it, lots of other options, get workout DVDs, prefer to be outside anyway, have weights at home/gym in apartment, renew swim membership next time there is an offer.


It’s raining But I like running in the rain so I have no idea why I use this excuse. Same goes for it’s cold out. The worse the weather, the better the ‘glow’ afterwards.


Nutrition


Nothing in the fridge/cupboard Most likely there is, but if not the supermarket is open, no need to get takeaway, and there’s always a healthier option anyway.


Someone else is cooking Eat more of the healthy stuff and less of the less healthy stuff, can make up for it at the next meal with a ‘clean’ meal or do a little extra exercise if necessary.


Children won’t eat what I cook Keep trying, they will get it eventually, it’s still important to offer them variety and encourage them to eat healthily and to model this eating style. They won’t starve if they miss one meal and they can always have supper.


Sam always has supper Have to tell him not to offer me any, doesn’t mean I have to have it too if I haven’t done a good hard session. Look at a few healthy options for this time of night in case I get hungry/bored.


External Excuses Outside of My Control - These are things like sick children, injury, things that happen and need to be lived through and ways to make the best of the situation.


Sickness or other family catastrophe Workaround, be realistic, get back to it as soon as possible, do my best.







SO, I'm working on these, already went out for a run in the heat this morning, just a little one, but I was there and very pleased with myself, drinking lots of water now to make up for it.

12WBT, Signed Up

I’ve been away from this so long that it’s barely worth mentioning – a second daughter, who arrived now 12 months ago is my only excuse for falling off the wagon with my own ‘body project’.

So here is my new 'Makeover Concept' Practical Assignment

I’ve have signed up for Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. What a fabulous concept, in 12 short weeks my body (and mind apparently) will have been transformed. A new me?

The programme combines a calorie controlled diet, 6 training sessions a week, and ‘mindset lessons’ aimed at getting you in the right mental and emotional state to transform.

Although I'm no serial dieter, I have tried and failed in the past, I have also been through periods of my life where I was super fit and reasonably healthy and that has all fallen by the wayside as well. So, I am thinking about how am I going to make it work for me this time. Diet wise, in the past I have always get bored around 6 weeks having lost 5 or 6 kg, just enough to start feeling better about myself. I'm hoping that Michelle's holistic body and mind approach might be more successful in terms of ongoing motivation for me.

I'm mum to two small people, living in Melbourne, Australia although originally from the UK. I moved here with my husband more than 5 years ago and our beautiful girls were born here. I love to run, but the joy goes out of it somewhat if I go over 70kg, so at around 73kg now I'm not getting much out of it. I want to be marathon fit again this year and to get my weight back down into the mid 60s so my goals for the 12wbt will reflect those aims.

This is what I am thinking.
1) Make sure to take time out every day for me, but not just sitting on the computer surfing the 'net, time to exercise, to read a book (you know, one of those things made from paper and card), or just to be, but mainly to exercise.

2) Set some really clear, specific goals – a race or two to run, a new recipe every week etc.

Anyway, pre-season has started and the program proper starts on the 21st of February, apparently it’s tough, but actually I think this is going to be fun. It starts with 8 tasks over a 4 week pre-season and this is supposed to be key to the program - getting fully prepared so that you have NO EXCUSES later on. Then 12 weeks of hard work, not much for a total body transformation.

Task one, introduce yourself, is done, here and on the forums, and I'm looking forward to getting stuck into the rest.

I'm going to commit to coming into the blog weekly to update my stats and progress. So Let's Go!

My Body History

Body History

As part of my research I am collecting body histories, I hope that these will help me to develop an understanding of my research participant’s motivation and desire to implement changes in their bodies.

Starting with my own…

I guess my earliest memories of my body are of doing gymnastics around the age of 8 or 9, I wasn’t very good at it, I couldn’t jump the horse or walk the high beam, but I was better at that than I had been at Ballet, my mother tells the tale of the Ballet teacher telling her that I was never going to be any good at it so I might as well go and do something else (hence the gymnastics). But I tried hard and worked through the junior grades and have the certificates to prove it. In fact, I was never really any good at sport, or at least that was my perception. Again my mother challenged the Physical Education Teacher when I was about 13 who gave me a D on my report card. I mean I could swim 5000m without stopping and I ran 4 or 5 times a week, but that D stuck with me, I was awful at ball sports, anything requiring hand eye co-ordination, and that, according to my school, was what mattered.

I was tall in primary school; I was taller than the headmaster, tallest in my year by a long way. I did gymnastics in a green leotard – oh so fashionable, with my legwarmers and everything – and I was called the jolly green giant. It was a friendly nickname, nothing malicious about it, I didn’t mind, my friends were tiny in comparison. First year at senior school, again I was tallest, for most of the first and second years in fact, then everyone started to catch up. I only grew 3 or 4 centimetres after starting senior school, by the end I was probably in the bottom quarter height wise.

I matured early too, got my periods while still at junior school and started wearing a bra before anyone else. It never bothered me. I was still the only girl in the class who didn’t run to the toilets to change for sport, and it never really changed. I never had a problem stripping off for a poolside change (towel strategically draped obviously if there were boys around).

I have no recollections of feeling shy of my body, hiding my body at all. It was just a body after all. I’m still the same now, communal changing rooms aren’t fearful places for me like they are for some people, although I’m a little more wary of full length 360 degree mirrors than I used to be.

At 17 I worked as a pool lifeguard, shorts, t-shirts, not a great look, but I wasn’t exactly big. I ate chip butties all summer and supplemented my diet from the chocolate machine (which regularly spat out free bars which of course I ate as well) and the older girls used to say “just wait until you hit your 20s you won’t be able to eat like that any more.” The summer before I went away for Uni I worked at the pool again, 12 and 14 hour shifts if I could get them, I went to the gym in my lunch breaks, ate badly, lost weight and started Uni lighter than I had been for a long time. I was confident, outgoing and had lots of fun.

As I went through university and beyond I gradually got heavier, but it never bothered me, I went to China for a year and ate out every night with obvious consequences. I always say that I was 8 stone 11lbs when I met my husband and 11 stone 8lbs when I married him 7 year later, I’m lighter than that now by half a stone, but no where near my lightest weight.

After university I went on my first diet. Started on New Years Day as all good diets are supposed to do. Lost a stone and then got bored, gradually put it back on again. Dieting was never really my thing. When I was getting married I refused to lose weight, why should I have to lose weight just to look good on one day. I still felt fantastic in my dress, looked good in the pictures, and had a fantastic day.
I moved abroad, did lots of exercise and got down to 68kg, so that’s about 10 stone 10lbs, what does 68kg mean for me, it means I can run (as opposed to plod), it means I can crack 60 minutes for a 10K race (I know it’s not fast but it’s good for me). Then got bored, and gradually put it back on again, hovered around 73-73kg for a few years and then fell pregnant.
Now I loved my pregnant body, never once did I feel that I had to control my body during pregnancy, never once did I worry about looking fat. I was pregnant, I was supposed to look fat, or at least bigger than usual. In fact, my legs and bum got smaller when I was pregnant, my arms were less saggy, my face was slimmer, it just had this great big bump out front, not a pretty football up the jumper bump, no teenage boy pretending to be pregnant look for me, a proper fleshy, female, pregnant bump, never mind a cushion up the jumper, I looked like I’d got the whole duvet shoved up there.
Post pregnancy my body has been of less concern to me in a real life setting, but increasingly of interest from an academic point of view, hence the fact I’m thinking about it now. I’d like to get back to 68kg, but there’s no sense of urgency. I don’t feel that I have something to prove. I promised myself a new pair of jeans when I hit 68kg because mine keep falling down but it’s not making it come around any faster. I just don’t care enough.
It’s not that I lack awareness of my body, I don’t wear a bikini, I don’t flaunt my body in public, I’m just more comfortable in my body than the average person. I’d like to care, I just don’t.

My Mother's Body, My Body and My Daughter's Body

A while ago, I wanted to write a book called, My Grandmother's Corset, My Mother's Barbie, My Plastic Surgeon and Me. I liked the title, not so catchy but a clear indicator of the content and romantic enough to (hopefully) catch people's attention. I wanted to write about women's body image across generations, and more precisely the importance of the waist in body image ideals.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I’ve just finished reading Susie Orbach’s Bodies (Profile Books, London, 2009), - hey, that’s a 2009 book that I’m reading in 2009, how up to date am I! - It’s well written, easy to read, engaging and accessible. One thing that really struck a cord with me, Orbach talks a lot about the influence that parents have on children (and the adults that they become), and it has revived my interest in those cross-generational aspects, the legacy - my original book idea was to look at the legacy of the corset - of my grandmother's body to my mothers, my mother's body to my body, and my body to my daughter's body. Well, yes, it's obvious that parents influence your children you might say, everyone knows that, but she’s talking about the influence of parents on their childrens' bodies. No, not just the way they dress, hold themselves, present themselves, not even just in terms of how thin or fat they are. Their ACTUAL bodies, how their bodies grow, and I find that a frightening thought; that my actions now, my sufficient or insufficient parenting will influence my daughter’s body for the rest of her life.

Looking at things analytically, I know that there are things in my life that are reflective of my mother’s influence on me. My inability to go on a diet – yes, very funny – to stick to a diet, the fact that I’m generally so comfortable in my body that I don’t have the motivation to diet. My mother dieted when I was younger, and she still does, I remember her going to Weightwatchers meetings on a regular basis for a while, and I always remember her coming home one evening and reporting the leader’s comment to one particular women who was whinging and making excuses for her failure to lose that week “You’re here because you’re fat, and you’re fat because you eat too much”, it’s funny what you remember. But that didn’t result in me always wanting to go on diets, in me being insecure about my weight in general. I guess, from a purely practical point of view, I had a healthy diet, at least while that diet was under the control of my parents – largely but not exclusively my mother. And as a result I had a healthy body, I was active, I was social, I didn’t have trouble fitting in, so I had no reason to dislike my body. My parents were important in the creation of that body.

So back to now, is there any sure way to ensure that you pass on to your children your good habits and not your bad ones? To make sure that they grow up to be confident and happy with their bodies? Whether I make my daughter finish all the food on her plate or not, will it really make any difference in the long run? There are things I would like for my daughter that don’t come naturally to me, I never wear makeup, glamorous is not second nature to me, I can’t for the life of me walk in high heels. I wish a was a bit more everyday glam, a bit more naturally elegant. I wish that I cared a bit more about the way I present myself. I dislike people who look great but don’t look like they’ve had to make too much effort to get there, but I still want to be them.

Maybe I'll still write the book one day. It's on the ever growing list. Now I have my own daughter though, I may have to change the title to include her too, which would probably make it too unwieldy, and knock it down from the bestseller list...

Questions Raised

• How do I instil a sense of beauty and natural elegance into my child when I don’t have it myself, or rather how do I make my child what I am not and should I?
• If I like my body, does that mean my daughter will like hers?

To Do

• I have my second batch of interviews to arrange for next week, the questions will remain largely the same but with an emphasis on collecting more of a body history and background which it is hoped will help to develop the data collected.
• To begin with I am going to attempt to write my own body history - which will follow in the next post.
• For writing practice I am writing up a book review of Orbach's Bodies - I'll post that here too.
  

My Postmodern Body

Let me first state that my research and my comments are based on body image and the concept of makeover in a 'western' context. Growing up in the UK and now living in Australia, my experience outside of this sphere is limited and I speak only for myself.


Last week I started carrying out my research interviews. I hope that talking to other women about their bodies and their thoughts about the makeover concept will help to mitigate to some extent the one-sidedness of my thinking and my writing, but my target group is in itself narrow and therefore my pool of information is still somewhat restricted. Once I have carried out my initial batch of interviews I hope that I will be able to reach a little further afield to help balance out my research.


So far the women I have spoken to have gone some way to confirming in my mind that the contemporary body, and in particular the contemporary body ideal is a rather disjointed and unstable thing. Further interviews may help to develop an analysis of 'the' contemporary feminine ideal, but so far, each woman has described a different ideal to me.


It is the question on femininity which helps to develop this issue most clearly. Each woman has a different idea of what makes a woman feminine, but although all the women I have spoken to far say they like to be, or would like to be more feminine, and on occasions make an effort to appear more feminine, none considered themselves to be feminine in their everyday life.


This postmodern feminine ideal, if it can be called such, appears to have become so fragmented and unstable, that women find it difficult to define and even more difficult to conform to on a day to day basis.

The instability of the postmodern body seems to be driving increasingly diverse body ideals and attitudes to body image today in the west. Clearly at this point a major area is missing, that of the male point of view, but that will be an area to develop later.




Questions Raised


Why are body ideals diversifying? - is it that women have more varied role models, that society is increasinly multicultural?

Today, when (in the west) we have access to the technology to conform, as well as the information we need, so why don't we?

What is the future for film and media, which have been driven for many years by a feminine ideal, if the feminine ideal no longer exists?

The Desire to Change

Based on my own failure to bring about significant changes in my body , I'm wondering what it is that drives people to follow through and really make changes.

I'd like to be thinner, more glamorous, better groomed, but why don't I have the motivation to do so when others do?

Is it a personality thing? I've always been confident in myself, generally my self-esteem is good. Maybe it is those with lower self-esteem who actually, ironically, are more likely to succeed in making a change, because the overall benefit is greater (i.e. increased self-esteem), whereas if you quite like yourself already, then after the change you only like yourself a little bit more, rather than a lot more. And that's the bottom line, generally, I like myself, I think I'm a 'nice' person, I'm not amazing looking but I'm not ugly, I'm not thin, but I have never, even at my heaviest, considered myself to be 'fat'. In fact I don't apply these types of labels to myself at all really.

I feel that self-image is clearly at the centre of all of this.

Questions raised...

• How many people manage to maintain the changes they make to lifestyle and body in the long-term?
• Is surgery popular because it is a longer-term option than say dieting, or getting a new wardrobe? Not just because it's seen as an 'easy' option.

To do this week

• Carry out and transcribe at least 2 interviews
• Write about interviews
• Finish Reading Flesh Wounds (Virginia Blum)

Erm... a bit off track - quick update

Well, I didn't do so well there did I.

The update is that I lost 8kg before Christmas, put 4 back on, and lost two again, so I'm 6kg down overall.

I haven't had sweets or chocolate bars since October, but I have been making up for it with cakes and biscuits - oops, that's never going to work! Oh and a hot chocolate most days.

Other than that, I really need a hair cut, and I'm getting behind on my uni work generally due to lack of motivation at the moment.

I'm going to try and post each Wednesday now as that is my 'uni' day, so no more excuses.

First Weigh In

Well the first weigh in should always be an easy one, after giving the metabolism a good shock with all that healthy eating business. So,

Starting Weight: 76.5 kg
Current Weight 73.9 kg
Total Loss This Week - 2.6 kg
Total Loss To Date - 2.6 kg.

I have to be pleased with that, now I know it doesn't carry on like that in real life (only on Biggest Loser) but I certainly feel that I have made a good start.

Maybe I should treat myself to a great big creamcake ;-) (Nooooooo...)

Day One

So this was going to be the 1st day of my makeover, you know, get the birthday over with and then get started. You know how it is. Well, I started early, couldn't wait to get going!

I signed up to Weight Watchers online, finished off all the chocolate in the house, bought a load of vegetables and healthy food and off I went.

First weigh in is on Monday

Wish me luck

Was I really that thin?

Crunching the numbers has got me thinking a bit. Was I really once 56kg? I lived in stones and lbs when I was in the UK. Wow! I must have been almost skinny.

I have no recollection of ever being skinny, well not since I was about 8 and accused of being bony, but in my 'adult' life, nope, pretty sure I've never been skinny. Although at 56kg I can't have been huge, that's for sure. That's right down near the bottom of my healthy range.

It's a bit of a shock to me now to work this out. This must be where our body image problems start. I mean, I must have been thin, but I never thought of myself as thin. I had lost weight that summer, getting fit for the start of my undergraduate degree studies. I worked in a swimming pool over the summer holidays, double shifts whenever I could get them, made good use of my free access to the gym in my lunch breaks, and lived on a diet of chocolate and chip butties (I wonder if that would still work now). Every so often, well actually quite often, the chocolate vending machine would spit out doubles, I'd eat both in one go, no problems. So it's not like I was 'dieting' to be that size, just busy, and 19. Other than at work I was living at home, so the rest of my diet was pretty healthy, but I don't think I deserved to be that thin.

I asked Sam (my husband) this morning, he says he doesn't remember me as 'thin' either, certainly not fat, but not thin. Not 20kg different than I am now. It's not that I've ever considered myself to be fat, even now, when I'm borderline for dropping out of the overweight category and into the very overweight with my BMI of 29.

Weight Watchers

There are hundreds of weight loss programs out there, from calorie counting, to meal replacement shakes to ready prepared meals, so why Weight Watchers. Well, apart from it being one of the biggest in the world, there are a number of reasons.
I've used it before with some success and know others who have too
It has great online tools and access
and as part of their offering they are giving away a booklet called 'makeover secrets' well, it's like it's meant to be, how could I resist.

According to Weight Watchers, at 163cm tall (5'3") and 76kg (12 stone 1lb/169lbs) I have a BMI of 29 (oops) my 10% goal is 68kg and my healthy weight range is 53-66kg.

So I have 10kg to lose to be healthy, and 20kg to lose to be at the thin end of the range.

Easy, now I have three goals to aim for, 68kg (110stone 10lbs/150lbs - 10% weight loss), 66kg (10stone 6lbs/146lbs, healthy weight range) and 56kg (8stone 11lbs/123lbs, a bit skinny?).

So is it realistic? Well, I was 56kg (8 stone 11lbs/123lbs) when I met my husband in 1996 (and 73.5kg/11 stone 8lbs/162lbs) when I married him in 2003. So it is somewhere I've been before, and although I'm older now, maybe I could go there again?

And weightwatchers recommend an average of 1/2 - 1kg per week, so 20kg in 52 weeks should be 'easy'...

So here I go, phase one of my makeover program underway.

New Year, New Start, New Me?

OK, so it's not really new year, but it's almost my birthday so a new year for me is about to begin.

This is going to be my 'year of the makeover' I'm going to do a makeover concept practical for my PhD project. Why? well, why not? I have nothing to lose except a few kilos, and maybe, just maybe, I'll learn something about myself, or even something of slight academic significance.

I'm committed, I can do it, erm, well I think I can, but I guess that is part of the process.

Oh, and I'm going to use to learn blogger well into the bargain!